Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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