i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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