I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
