so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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