he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
