summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I need to align my fucking chakras
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
