I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
