Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
