talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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