eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
