Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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