For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
