wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When are your genitals available?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
