Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
