Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
