I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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