And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
