Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
