i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
