Your mouth is God's brothel.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
