I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I want her autograph on my taint
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
