Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
