she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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