Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
