I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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