You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
