Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
