yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
