btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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