I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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