a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
