she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
