his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
