He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
