it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
