u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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