You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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