your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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