WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
