Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize