Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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