Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
