Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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