Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
