he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
