nut hugger
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
