my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
