Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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