East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
