theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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