Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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