I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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