i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You smell like stripper and shame
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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