Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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