And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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