I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
